You know that feeling you get when you wake up from a long afternoon nap (Dad, I assume you have no idea what a nap feels like...but keep reading anyway), or you find yourself at 3:00 am alone on the couch with your plate still resting in your lap? Disoriented and confused, you look around and search frantically for the memory of where you are, and why you are in the position you are in - you begin the disappointing procedure of differentiating between dream world and real world. I am still in some strange groggy state right now, but my head is clearing.
This past semester has been trying, truly trying, but in a very unexpected way. For the first time in about as far back as my conscious allows me remember, I have not been in school officially. I was still teaching, I still had my comprehensive exams that loomed in the distance, but without the thrice weekly class sessions, the research papers, the meetings, the studying..etc - I anticipated a few months of rest, relaxation and luxurious living. What I found was something unexpected - a mist settled over the apartment, over my car, over my desk, into my clothes - everywhere. I was plagued by this existential discomfort, an edginess I could not shake. I felt tired, lazy, depressed at times...but I did not know why. I have equated it to something like the fear of freedom upon being released from prison. I have been analyzing it ad nauseam, but, suffice it to say, I have come to the decision that I am a freak. I want to be in school. Despite the insistence of some that 'callings' and 'goals' may not be worthwhile, I am forced by my conscience in this matter to disagree. Like a cat always seems to find their way home (unless they are drowned in a hot tub...that's right, we haven't forgotten), I was not comfortable being away from school before I was finished-finished.
This leads to my great news, which I have been a little hesitant to disclose to many. A couple of weeks ago I received word that I had been accepted in the Ph.D. program in Literature at the University of Texas at Dallas. Frankly, I have been a little afraid to celebrate it, because it does not yet seem real. I realize that I have years to go before I have accomplished anything, but this has been a distant dream since I was struggling to keep up in Philosophy courses at DBU. I will start in the Spring (assuming I did not bomb my comps earlier this week), which will put me back at another 'square-one', but, for now, I am celebrating. Julie is done! - I am done! We are going to live carefree for a few weeks....we'll worry about the next phase in January.
This past semester has been trying, truly trying, but in a very unexpected way. For the first time in about as far back as my conscious allows me remember, I have not been in school officially. I was still teaching, I still had my comprehensive exams that loomed in the distance, but without the thrice weekly class sessions, the research papers, the meetings, the studying..etc - I anticipated a few months of rest, relaxation and luxurious living. What I found was something unexpected - a mist settled over the apartment, over my car, over my desk, into my clothes - everywhere. I was plagued by this existential discomfort, an edginess I could not shake. I felt tired, lazy, depressed at times...but I did not know why. I have equated it to something like the fear of freedom upon being released from prison. I have been analyzing it ad nauseam, but, suffice it to say, I have come to the decision that I am a freak. I want to be in school. Despite the insistence of some that 'callings' and 'goals' may not be worthwhile, I am forced by my conscience in this matter to disagree. Like a cat always seems to find their way home (unless they are drowned in a hot tub...that's right, we haven't forgotten), I was not comfortable being away from school before I was finished-finished.
This leads to my great news, which I have been a little hesitant to disclose to many. A couple of weeks ago I received word that I had been accepted in the Ph.D. program in Literature at the University of Texas at Dallas. Frankly, I have been a little afraid to celebrate it, because it does not yet seem real. I realize that I have years to go before I have accomplished anything, but this has been a distant dream since I was struggling to keep up in Philosophy courses at DBU. I will start in the Spring (assuming I did not bomb my comps earlier this week), which will put me back at another 'square-one', but, for now, I am celebrating. Julie is done! - I am done! We are going to live carefree for a few weeks....we'll worry about the next phase in January.
First, you're a masochistic psychopath. Plain and simple. But as long as you're comfortable with that, CONGRATS! That's awesome that you were accepted into the PhD program and I wish you the best luck with it. And yay for several more years of self-inflicted torture! :)
Awesome Mike, congratulations...DP
Congrats Michael. Love ya
Congratulations! I am so proud of you. I know it was hard, but it will be well worth. Love ya, Jincy